A Little, Bitty God
Today, I helped lead worship at a church in my area. Yesterday, under a bridge, I played keyboard in a band during a church service for the homeless. The day before that, I bought my first and very own guitar. And the day before that, I learned, with more than a few squeaks and flat notes, more Christmas songs on my violin.
With all that newly-gained knowledge of my week, you might think that music is a passion of mine. And it is. You would probably assume that perhaps worship is something I want to pursue in life. You'd be right. You might even venture to guess that God has given and is still giving me many opportunities to participate in different worship ministries. That again would be correct.
After all, the only reason I ever learned a thing about music is because a church member generously gave my family a piano when I was seven. And I don't take for granted the fact that I've never had to pay much more than two hundred dollars for any of the beautiful musical instruments I'm privileged to own. Also, I don't know many other people who were given the chance to lead worship at a church, by themselves, as a completely untrained seventeen year old.
Are all of these coincidences? Of course not.
Do all these clearly providential opportunities stop me from doubting what I know God's called me to do?
Sadly, no.
Why is it that doubt seems to be the hardest sin to crush in the Christian heart? Or maybe it's just me. Time and again, I see God provide for me, open doors for me, take care of me in ways that blow my mind.
And yet I still fretfully wonder, "Well, how in the world am I supposed to pay to study music? How am I going to provide for myself if I end up living halfway around the world? I don't even sing that great! And I'm not outgoing! Why would God call me into worship ministry?" Doubt, doubt, doubt, worry, worry, worry...
I give those two sins, yes, sins, countless different names. Practical reasoning. Rational thinking. "Healthy" concern. All attempts at appeasing my conscience and tricking me into thinking that, yes, I really do have faith in God!
But let's be honest. There's nothing practical, rational or healthy about declaring independence from a hostile Pharaoh, or charging an entire country's army with three hundred men, or touching a stranger's cloak in hopes to be healed.
I hear these stories in church and clap my hands with approval. Good for those Bible characters! Trusting in the Lord! Look at them go! But let's move on to more realistic things like how I'm to pay for college, afford a new car, make a house payment, find a new job, or whatever it is that I worry about incessantly.
I forget that the God that performs miracles, the God I say I love and worship, is the same "yesterday, today, and forever"
I know, I know. The whole "Have faith! Don't worry!" sermon is so tired, so trite. I've heard it a million times!
Then why do I still worry? That's the simple, yet somehow perplexing question that stumps me on what seems like a monthly, weekly, daily basis. Why do I worry? What's the point of this? To quote the preacher I heard this morning, "I pray for a little, bitty miracle like it's a little bitty God I serve!"
Convicting? I hope so. I know it was for me.
So...is Jesus a "little, bitty God" to you? Examine your heart. How much do you doubt? Worry?
Now answer the question.
With all that newly-gained knowledge of my week, you might think that music is a passion of mine. And it is. You would probably assume that perhaps worship is something I want to pursue in life. You'd be right. You might even venture to guess that God has given and is still giving me many opportunities to participate in different worship ministries. That again would be correct.
After all, the only reason I ever learned a thing about music is because a church member generously gave my family a piano when I was seven. And I don't take for granted the fact that I've never had to pay much more than two hundred dollars for any of the beautiful musical instruments I'm privileged to own. Also, I don't know many other people who were given the chance to lead worship at a church, by themselves, as a completely untrained seventeen year old.
Are all of these coincidences? Of course not.
Do all these clearly providential opportunities stop me from doubting what I know God's called me to do?
Sadly, no.
Why is it that doubt seems to be the hardest sin to crush in the Christian heart? Or maybe it's just me. Time and again, I see God provide for me, open doors for me, take care of me in ways that blow my mind.
And yet I still fretfully wonder, "Well, how in the world am I supposed to pay to study music? How am I going to provide for myself if I end up living halfway around the world? I don't even sing that great! And I'm not outgoing! Why would God call me into worship ministry?" Doubt, doubt, doubt, worry, worry, worry...
I give those two sins, yes, sins, countless different names. Practical reasoning. Rational thinking. "Healthy" concern. All attempts at appeasing my conscience and tricking me into thinking that, yes, I really do have faith in God!
But let's be honest. There's nothing practical, rational or healthy about declaring independence from a hostile Pharaoh, or charging an entire country's army with three hundred men, or touching a stranger's cloak in hopes to be healed.
I hear these stories in church and clap my hands with approval. Good for those Bible characters! Trusting in the Lord! Look at them go! But let's move on to more realistic things like how I'm to pay for college, afford a new car, make a house payment, find a new job, or whatever it is that I worry about incessantly.
I forget that the God that performs miracles, the God I say I love and worship, is the same "yesterday, today, and forever"
I know, I know. The whole "Have faith! Don't worry!" sermon is so tired, so trite. I've heard it a million times!
Then why do I still worry? That's the simple, yet somehow perplexing question that stumps me on what seems like a monthly, weekly, daily basis. Why do I worry? What's the point of this? To quote the preacher I heard this morning, "I pray for a little, bitty miracle like it's a little bitty God I serve!"
Convicting? I hope so. I know it was for me.
"...because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:6-8Our worrying must be so insulting and hurtful to God, just as a mother or father would be heartbroken if their children suddenly doubted their ability and desire to take care of them. I will never receive anything from Christ, and I will never win anyone to Him as long as I'm doubting. The amount of what I believe God can provide in my life directly reflects how powerful I believe Him to be.
So...is Jesus a "little, bitty God" to you? Examine your heart. How much do you doubt? Worry?
Now answer the question.
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