Aimless Little Busy Bees
Have you ever been on one of those incredibly long runs when you're completely focused on the next step, your persistence and stubbornness blinding your mind to all else? So blind that when someone finally makes you stop, you realize that you're completely out of breath, standing on jiggly legs and can't take another step?
Yeah, me neither. I wish. Let me think of a better analogy.
Do you have that one room in your house, maybe the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, that's always the dumping station? Everyday you come in from work or school and drop crumpled grocery bags, jackets that mysteriously breed and/or disappear in closets, random junk with unknown origins. We all know what happens to that random junk. Absolutely nothing. Until someone rings and say they're coming over and suddenly we're horrified by the mess.
Well, that's exactly what my life has become in the past few weeks.
Part of me didn't even want to write a blog about busyness because, come on, everybody's busy, right?
And then I realized, yes, exactly. Everybody is busy! But do any of us know why?
Why are we so busy? Why does our culture glorify impossibly chaotic schedules? Is there a healthy busyness? What does God say about being busy? What does He say about my schedule?
One day last week, I lay on my bed and asked myself those questions. I could feel my mind being smushed from so many sides. A new job. Exams for college credits every other weekend. Handfuls of opportunities from handfuls of different churches. The pressure to be present with my family and friends. Etc., etc., Why is there so much expected of me?! I should be able to do it all, right?
As I sat there with my journal open in front of me, I took a slow breath. Time seemed to slow down as I stilled myself and began to pray.
One of my favorite things about Jesus is how well He knows me. That day He knew exactly what I needed. And He didn't waste time telling me.
About forty-five seconds into my prayer time, I heard what I needed to, which was simply this. The busyness in my life wasn't healthy. It wasn't right. Ironically, I wasn't even being productive.
God wasn't using his whisper voice when he said that I needed to make a list, an actual physical list, of priorities. And I needed to do it now. With a sigh, I looked at my journal.
Some people are "list" people. I am not. I don't make lists unless it's to remember the five things I came to the store for or where I have to be tonight. But this priority list was something I knew I needed to do, or else I would likely soon lose the ability to think and behave rationally.
So with the help of some amazing questions from my college adviser, I made my list of things most important to me and my time. Here's a brief (because I had to remind myself, brief is the point) synopsis. (If you don't what to read it, just skip to the end. That's where the take home is!)
1. Christ: Should be obvious, often it's not. And not just spending the alone time with him, but obeying His word, i.e., taking time to serve, evangelize and give to others
2. Church: For me, I also had to specify which church. I'm blessed to know some amazing people from so many great churches but unfortunately the basic laws of time and space don't allow me to be in all places at once. I prayerfully had to decide which church I was going to plant roots in... and be okay with telling others "No." *cringes and protests*
3. Family and Friends: I don't know how long God will keep me in this specific place, but I had to ask myself, am I investing in the people who are around me right now? Am I being authentic and genuine in my relationships or am I watching Netflix at night because I'm tired of talking to people? (Where are my introverts at?)
4. School: Honestly, I never thought college would make my top five, but I know this is what God has for me in this season. It's probably the only reason I'm not gallivanting across another part of the globe. Am I making the best of this time educationally?
5. Explore Things I Love: For some crazy reason, I thought for a long time that this was a selfish thing to do. It's not! I firmly believe God has given us each special interests, passions, and hobbies that make us who we are, connect us with others, and equip us for unique ministries. For me, this looks like gardening with my mom, just to spend time together, create beauty, and be in nature. Or taking a violin lesson every other Tuesday just because music is something I enjoy and want to learn more about.
So that's my list. What's yours? If you feel up to your ears in "stuff" and have lost sight of why, I would strongly encourage you to pause. Ask yourself, what does God say about what I'm doing? When I look back at this season a year from now, what will I consider a success and what was wasted time? How does what I am doing hour to hour align with my life purpose?
Remember, there's no guilt in rest. In taking time to get to know yourself. In investing in doing what makes you come alive.
God wants freedom for you. The space to breathe. To know who you are and why you're here.
And if God wants that for us, let's try wanting it for ourselves too.
Yeah, me neither. I wish. Let me think of a better analogy.
Do you have that one room in your house, maybe the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, that's always the dumping station? Everyday you come in from work or school and drop crumpled grocery bags, jackets that mysteriously breed and/or disappear in closets, random junk with unknown origins. We all know what happens to that random junk. Absolutely nothing. Until someone rings and say they're coming over and suddenly we're horrified by the mess.
Well, that's exactly what my life has become in the past few weeks.
Part of me didn't even want to write a blog about busyness because, come on, everybody's busy, right?
And then I realized, yes, exactly. Everybody is busy! But do any of us know why?
Why are we so busy? Why does our culture glorify impossibly chaotic schedules? Is there a healthy busyness? What does God say about being busy? What does He say about my schedule?
One day last week, I lay on my bed and asked myself those questions. I could feel my mind being smushed from so many sides. A new job. Exams for college credits every other weekend. Handfuls of opportunities from handfuls of different churches. The pressure to be present with my family and friends. Etc., etc., Why is there so much expected of me?! I should be able to do it all, right?
As I sat there with my journal open in front of me, I took a slow breath. Time seemed to slow down as I stilled myself and began to pray.
One of my favorite things about Jesus is how well He knows me. That day He knew exactly what I needed. And He didn't waste time telling me.
About forty-five seconds into my prayer time, I heard what I needed to, which was simply this. The busyness in my life wasn't healthy. It wasn't right. Ironically, I wasn't even being productive.
God wasn't using his whisper voice when he said that I needed to make a list, an actual physical list, of priorities. And I needed to do it now. With a sigh, I looked at my journal.
Some people are "list" people. I am not. I don't make lists unless it's to remember the five things I came to the store for or where I have to be tonight. But this priority list was something I knew I needed to do, or else I would likely soon lose the ability to think and behave rationally.
So with the help of some amazing questions from my college adviser, I made my list of things most important to me and my time. Here's a brief (because I had to remind myself, brief is the point) synopsis. (If you don't what to read it, just skip to the end. That's where the take home is!)
1. Christ: Should be obvious, often it's not. And not just spending the alone time with him, but obeying His word, i.e., taking time to serve, evangelize and give to others
2. Church: For me, I also had to specify which church. I'm blessed to know some amazing people from so many great churches but unfortunately the basic laws of time and space don't allow me to be in all places at once. I prayerfully had to decide which church I was going to plant roots in... and be okay with telling others "No." *cringes and protests*
3. Family and Friends: I don't know how long God will keep me in this specific place, but I had to ask myself, am I investing in the people who are around me right now? Am I being authentic and genuine in my relationships or am I watching Netflix at night because I'm tired of talking to people? (Where are my introverts at?)
4. School: Honestly, I never thought college would make my top five, but I know this is what God has for me in this season. It's probably the only reason I'm not gallivanting across another part of the globe. Am I making the best of this time educationally?
5. Explore Things I Love: For some crazy reason, I thought for a long time that this was a selfish thing to do. It's not! I firmly believe God has given us each special interests, passions, and hobbies that make us who we are, connect us with others, and equip us for unique ministries. For me, this looks like gardening with my mom, just to spend time together, create beauty, and be in nature. Or taking a violin lesson every other Tuesday just because music is something I enjoy and want to learn more about.
So that's my list. What's yours? If you feel up to your ears in "stuff" and have lost sight of why, I would strongly encourage you to pause. Ask yourself, what does God say about what I'm doing? When I look back at this season a year from now, what will I consider a success and what was wasted time? How does what I am doing hour to hour align with my life purpose?
Remember, there's no guilt in rest. In taking time to get to know yourself. In investing in doing what makes you come alive.
God wants freedom for you. The space to breathe. To know who you are and why you're here.
And if God wants that for us, let's try wanting it for ourselves too.
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